I watched a documentary the other night. The protagonist declared San Francisco the most liberated city on Earth.

I left San Francisco, my home town, to seek my fortune in Hollywood. When I got to Los Angeles, I was given a taste of true freedom. I am liberal, but I have some unusual ideas in the realm of Economics.

For instance, inSan Francisco, I would be stoned to death for declaring public housing projects a failed experiment in social engineering. In San Francisco, we have to bow to the almighty Welfare and declare its sainthood. We are not permitted to question it or ponder new ways of addressing poverty that prevent a vicious circle from forming. This is called “liberal” but it actually stifles new thought.

Sexually, San Francisco has a reputation as the ne plus ultra of liberated sexuality. Then why are there bath houses in LA but not in San Francisco?

I don’t intend for this to be a Frisco-bashing rant. But you’re not supposed to call it Frisco! Here in Smell-Ay, we can call it Lotus Land or pronounce it Loss Angle Iss or admit that there are giant urban meadows of hideous strip malls blighting the landscape, and no one jumps down your throat.

These are just some musings on the real nature of freedom, and how it doesn’t always look like you would expect.

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